||zeapleonia

Wednesday April 29, 2009

Bekenu is a small town located between Bintulu & Miri.
Well, it is not that remote as you think it will be ; there are still handphone coverages & major petrol stations there.

Anyone interested to try out the ambiance & coffee, the treat is on me kay?

Oh btw, this is NOT the ‘Starbucks’ that I used to blog from eh..

Monday April 27, 2009

To my defense, I am ok.

Seriously.

I cant express how shocked I was when I received a mail from an uncle who is in Miri now. Somehow or rather he heard that I fell sick and expressed his concern. During his previous 2-weeks stay here, we had a fair share of badminton experiences, only he is much more a pro player compared to me.

Ok, time to spill the beans ; I couldn’t wake up today..Not that I refused to, but my head just wouldn’t permit me to. Being a light sleeper, I am usually awakened even by the slightest croak of a frog, but last night was a total different scenario. Yes the ‘stuuuupid’ chickens did crow at their usual time of the day ; I remember I heard a few crows and that was it. A dead log I was, until I woke up feeling defeated , because the clock indicated that I was late for work. At that very moment, my head hurts terribly and if I were to describe the pain, I would say that as if the entire world was on my head.

After necessary filings/communications, the next thing I realized was that I went back to sleep.  Few hours Iater, I found myself automatically walking towards the kitchen for lunch (who says I am on a diet?) and next, I headed down plant for work. I think I looked like a zombie, because my brain was kinda ‘iced’ not to mention lagging most of the time (thank God I my brain cooperated during crucial moments)…and most importantly, the plant is still in 1 piece.

Right now, I am much better. In fact, I just came back from a game of badminton, slightly lethargic because of the sourness accumulated from this morning. Feeling fresher though, and my head is not as painful as the last time I remembered the pain to be.

Being sick in the jungle is not exactly fun, well, perhaps it’s my fault too, as I am allergic to certain medications that they provide here. No one bothers to give you any ‘how are you’ attention, no one to pamper you with your cravings, no one to be your ‘slave’ of the day…it makes things worse frankly. But being a tough girl, I always managed to quickly sway away all those inferiority feelings of dependency and managed to recover as quickly as possible during previous moments of feebleness, not excluding this time of course.

Yes, I am okay now. Although my head still feels its weight (slightly).

I will be OK.

Saturday April 25, 2009

–of–

#1. Inadequacy

Two cows are in a pasture watching as a milk truck passes by.

On the side of the truck are the words

‘Pasteurized, Homogenized, Standardized, Vitamin A added’

#2. Rejection

Miss W , the 18 year old woman who was selected to represent Country X in the 1984 Olympics was competing in a race against Country Y’s Miss Z when an accident knocked them both out from the running track (somehow or rather). The crowd boo-ed and Miss Z blamed Miss W for tripping on her and never want to speak to Miss W ever again.

#3. Emptiness

When one is a stranger to oneself, then one is estranged from others too.

#4. Loneliness

The pain of being alone

#5. Dependency

Needing others or something for feelings of security.

=====================================================

I’d like to elaborate on Item #1 , as it is pretty similar to our daily lives.

Take us ladies for example. The creation of ‘make-up’ products make us ladies feel so insecure? Or it’s the other way round where it was because of the insecurity felt by us ladies that we seek the ultimate solution to create products to ‘paint’ our faces etc?

Plastic surgery, fake lashes, make-up products, slimming products, braces…(you may add on the list here).My argument is that all these are none other than products created to satisfy our inadequacies. Some are on the verge of dying after consuming slimming pills, some are risking their health after plastic surgeries, some even developed allergies due to the content in makeups yet still struggling to find the best makeup brand that ‘may suit their skin’.

Are all these actually necessary? There could never be an exact answer…

as I am a victim myself

Thursday April 23, 2009

I forgot the password of something which really matters now in my life…it’s not like some email thingy but something that means a lot a lot to me right now!!It’s like, like you forgot your own IC no??  *shoot me* …all the hassles I have to go through now *tsk*

And I was just reminded that tomorrow is a Friday!!?? I think I stayed too long in the jungle…

 

This photo was taken almost 2 years ago…and don’t I love it ?

Tuesday April 21, 2009

For those who knew I guess it’s nothing to hide already..don’t ask about my whereabouts and how on earth I am in the cyber space…All I can say is I have to thank God for good Samaritans *gives contented smile*

I was not in a mood of doing anything today…thanks goodness for badminton because now I am feeling better after ‘hitting’ all my ‘depressions’ away..gee, why did I use ‘depressionS’?

I was easily irritated today, which I don’t know why..which I conveniently put the blame to PMS – just to avoid whatever that I thought irritating…not in the mood to read any books because my eyes are kinda dry and tired…and I wanna catch up with people especially with those who are dear to me How could I ever thank God for angles in my life? Although I may be a very terrible monster to those around me especially my bro whom I always ‘jat’ all the time ??

To be honest (shoot, why am I revealing the deepest secret here), it feels so good to vent out my anger or whatever pissed moments I encountered ..but on the contrary, it also means that I may unknowingly hurt someone else whom I love dearly…taking things for granted may not be the best solution, but hey, what else can I do? Throw glass bottles? Jog till I drop? Eat all I want? Well, I guess I’d still resort to the traditional way – talk it all out…sorry to those whom I made victims hmmm

Well, I removed the link here to my Facebook…It just hit me that a blog is a blog and a note is a note…haha…

Saturday April 18, 2009

The truth is always the strongest argument.
Sophocles (496 BC-406 BC)

I miss StarBucks….the pocket damager…

Another chapter of life has just passed . Well, April is coming to its closing, thus a quarter has gone just like that! I’m just few steps closer to pursuing my dream – my childhood dream. Two more plane rides and that is it. Will blog more about it when the time has come

Yes, I am overwhelmed by the grace of God in my life. All the blessings He had showered into my life. His plans are laid so beautifully upon my life, all the angles He has sent to keep me strong, holding me tightly and giving me their utmost support.

I’ve developed some kind of itch to blog on both my snowy-hairless legs..perhaps it was those ‘lalangs’ that ‘cut’ my delicate skin while trekking the hill yesterday (I was wearing shorts)…*sobz* …and I also see few red spots too, no thanks to those moZzies that I cold-hearted-ly killed whenever I spot them on my legs!

Miri is just that HOT. I wish I have an air-con now, or a private pool to jump into anytime…perhaps I should just wish that I have much $$$ to just get anything without much worry on the budget. Really wish that all those leaves I see in the jungle has some value, so I’d pluck them anytime & be rich which means… I can just get a new camera anytime! Oh, there is a PC fair here in Miri..went to scout on the cameras but I still prefer the deal that I could get from KL

A dear friend just came back from overseas…and yes, now I itch to travel across Europe, especially during spring ; which means ..I’d be damaging my savings if I ever do! Her story of the nice places she visited and the friendly people sounds so good, minusing the sacrifice paid on food and accomodation of course. I must (repeat 10x) save hard to make it there one day…since my work does not permit me to travel much, especially to Europe countries which I have been longing since young (seems that I have a lot of unachievable yet to achieve dreams)

Yeah, and my allergy is giving me the most hated itch now..the very same spot near my eyes..

Saturday April 18, 2009

………..*yells*……………………..

I am N.O.T dead Y.E.T

This was one of the few steep hills that I had both my foot cravings satisfied this evening..it also symbolizes my determination in doing things…compared to the physically feeble me…well, to summarize things, determination in me gives me the strength to strive and achieve things, which has moulded me to what I am now..and for the 1st time on such dry tracks, I slipped at one point, only to realise that I got back up the next second, and it hit me that it should just be the way on how problems should be encountered in life.

It is just so ironic that when it comes to giving advice to other people, you tend to be so rational & logical but when it comes to you yourself in a particular situation, somehow you tend to avoid and somehow ‘hope’ that things will just turn out fine…deep but not emo post though, it’s just so so so true , some fact in life that I came to nirvana apparently ???

Ooo..I finally had a bun after ages…I am starting to get numb when it comes to satisfying my cravings..I just don’t know which/what tastes good and which/what is not good anymore…gee..i sound like a person without feelings?? Or it’s just the food here is not ‘that’ appetizing
*ops*

Oh, I bumped into a friend just now…and she complimented that I lost weight..apparently that everyone I met this trip home commented on so…gee…perhaps I should be glad because finally there is sign that my chubby cheeks are shrinking!? (To me it they are still the same size ok) 

Well, as I am typing this, I am thinking of few things..
1) Whether I should just cancel the link here to my Facebook (FB)…the whole reason I linked them is because FB enables anyone to comment (this feature was initially not supported by xanga)..well..I don’t really have to time to ’scout’ on the improved xanga features so I guess I’d just let it be until when I am really really free to do so…
2) My work..I guess I have turned into a workaholic which I once avoided so hard transforming into…
3) My sleep later
4) My next vacation *yay*
5) Sushi !

*grins*

Friday April 17, 2009

My previous post was like 2 days ago and I am now blogging from Miri aha! Well, I did in fact went up to the camp but it was at another location ; at where Pearl is currently located. The place is nice, minus the roads and the time needed to travel…I guess it’s just the adaptation to the jungle that I don’t feel anything ‘different’ especially when colleagues asked for the better location (between the place I am located and Pearl’s).

I have been doing much reading lately ; I finished 5 books last month (30 days) and they did get me thinking on certain facts , not to mention the fire ignited on some ‘agendas’. Motivational books are indeed pretty good and I deeply recommend for those who are seeking personal/job satisfaction. Well, those books I read so happen contradicts each other; and it was from there where I picked and did some thinking and put on some judgments.How I wish I am ‘loaded’ so that I could just get those books that I really wanted instead of worrying much on my budget ..

Insomnia is still killing me and doing me not good..apparently my immune system has crashed and my sore throat is on a off and on basis, eyes darker than a panda’s ..and… sometimes I feel like I am floating instead of walking..opps I guess I sound pretty much like a zombie here? haha

There is a PC fair in Miri and I am so gonna scout for cameras in replacement of my current one…hopefully all things go well for me

Tuesday April 14, 2009

yes, another 30 days more and I’d be down again, and isn’t that a long period? I felt so so saturated the previous 30 days in the jungle, with limited stock on fruits and fresh items ..I hope I can survive this time of 30 days !

Ah, the suffer is only temporary…I should brush away these negative feelings away! I guess by being such a strong person kinda freaked out my parents, perhaps it’s a gender thingy…perhaps I should have just born as a male, and my brother , female..this will melt away those questions marks aha!

Ah, my throat hurts..my fault for not taking care of it properly…mmm! I guess I’d gotta head to the doc ? sighz…

Will be heading back to jungle soon…till my next 3days, tata! take good care, update me if my house ‘kena bomb’ or whatever that you may find interesting…

*hugz*

Monday April 13, 2009

Just came back after watching ‘He’s just so NOT into you’ and I find the 2-hour movie rather relaxing and entertaining, which at the same time expresses (more to summarizes) relationship concerns of today’s women in 5 beautiful lady characters … go catch it girls..guys perhaps it’s not your movie but I can say it is worth your time and few of your ringgit though

I have been very busy the past weekend…to the fact that I have totally forgotten that my handphone credit expired 2 hours ago, ah well…time flies, especially happy moments I have been playing ‘chipsmore’ for being at 3 different states in a short 5 days break , which OBVIOUSLY drenched much of my energy…*squeaks*….mom and a good friend actually had to ‘beg’ me to sleep?? …and not ‘torture’ myself in the sense of getting minimal sleep…my flight is at 830am later and what am I doing now?? I guess I am much of a stubborn daughter don’t you think so? *grins*

I am gonna miss home, and peninsular. I have done what I have to do for this trip and I am truly glad I achieved what I have planned for. I am just glad that I came back this time.Apparently all my trips are pretty packed. Will truly find 1 time where I really relax,pamper and just rot-at-home time leave

I’d better sleep. Definitely not good for someone who was insomniac for past 1 week, and still is, to skip precious time of sleep. You’d catch me blogging in Miri for my next post